Meaning

The impact and meaning of certain words can change - take songs for example. Cover versions can give songs a whole new lease of life and even improve it. Have you ever heard Bowie’s version of All The Young Dudes? It’s crap – and he wrote it!

Ralph Fiennes was asked in an interview how he tackled the role of Hamlet, for which he’s the only actor to have won a Tony Award for playing the part. Whether you’ve watched the play, studied it in school or just somehow know it, you’ll likely be able to recite the "To be or not to be, that is the question" dialogue. He answered that he treated it like an inner monologue, as though thinking it for the first time and not simply reciting it, and all of a sudden new life was breathed into it.

Recently the word whose meaning has completely changed for me is ‘endurance’. Without ever paying much attention to it I used to pigeon-hole endurance as sitting alongside stamina, simply meaning long-lasting. But over the last 7 weeks of training I now realise it literally means how much you can endure - how much punishment you can withstand. Much like watching Everybody Loves Raymond.

That might sound obvious but because it’s an ability I’ve never been tested on it’s one I’ve never had a real appreciation of. I’m pushing myself each week to run further and for longer (and am currently at only a quarter of the distance I’ll need to run) so with each run I’m always hoping it gets a bit easier, hurts a bit less. But it never happens. Running an extra quarter of a mile one day compared to the last doesn’t come from an improvement in ability, as it would with most skills but simply from prolonging the pain that little bit more each time. Of course you could argue that you gain the ability to endure more but it doesn’t feel like it whilst you’re out there. Certainly not this morning when I struggled to over-take an OAP doing his best impression of a power-walking Harold Bishop.

There’s been a few times over the years where I’ve made a concerted effort to get fit and joined a gym. Sadly paying more to move from the dingy dissanitary ones to the all-singing all-dancing doesn’t help you get fit sooner (my definition for that always being able to run for 20mins without stopping).  But whilst I always got myself beyond that level I’ve always been disappointed that running has never transformed from something that you can endure to something that you can enjoy.

It must happen to some people. Like those 70yr old lycra-clad cyclists with saggy bums on show who hold you up on country lanes. We’ve all met (usually worked with) the types that are one step removed from being an adrenaline junkie, always exercising and getting a buzz from pushing their body to the limits. But whilst I can look forward to going for a run it takes no time for it to become a will of resistance. Of mind over matter. The only buzz I get usually comes just before dehydration takes hold.

I don’t know whether I’m unique in feeling this way or just haven’t quite got to the level where it does transcend, but the prospect of another 10 months’ training is pretty disheartening at times because of it.

I’m as guilty as anyone for underestimating how difficult challenges can be. An ex-colleague of mine would pass the sponsorship form round for the Great North Run every year and if I’m honest I subconsciously belittled the effort it took (even to do it just once) despite always admiring it. Matt Baker is currently pedalling a rickshaw from Edinburgh to London for Children in Need and I can’t begin to imagine how tough that is.

I’m not saying all this to blow my own trumpet (if only) but to try and convey what the experience (for me at least) is like of training to do a half-marathon. Even this blog takes a lot of time and effort.

Having enjoyed/managed/coped with 37wks of pregnancy, Emma is now officially "full term". In other words our baby can now drop at any point in the next 5weeks, no later. Sadly of course the baby doesn't drop out at all (even if she pinches her nose and blows which she hopes will work) but in fact needs a hell of a lot of effort.

It's amazing how often having a child is likened to running a marathon. Apparently both take “time, knowledge, training and endurance". Yet as much as I might have a new-found appreciation of endurance, somehow I really don't fancy my chances of being taken seriously in the delivery room if I claim to understand what Emma's going through!