Then there’s those that are half-truths. I’ve worked with as many man-hating women (generally single or bitter divorcees) in my career as I have ‘male chauvinist pigs’. Well, nearly – I am in banking after all.
And why is it ok to insinuate you’re a competitive Dad
but not a competitive Mum? This phenomena seems to have passed everyone
by but to me it sticks out like a sore thumb. It starts in pregnancy with
comments like “you wait til you get to my stage, then you’ll know what morning sickness feels like!” We had a
stranger come up to us in the car park and tell my wife her bump wasn’t
anywhere near as big as hers was at the same stage. Were they suggesting we
should be worried? Or was she proud that some of her gut was being mistaken for
a baby?
More recently it’s become comparing their baby’s development.
“You should have seen how little/much sleep mine was getting!” “Mine was crawling/walking/talking/flying by
then!” Again, unless we’re suggesting that differing rates of development
is a new thing, what are they trying to achieve? Will they be phoning other
Mums on GCSE results day and comparing academic achievement too? Or keep it health-related
and just boast about key milestones like puberty?
To be fair fatherhood does seem to trigger a similar
gene. So far CDS (Competitive Dad Syndrome) hasn’t kicked in too noticeably
just yet, but it is in evidence with my running. It’s not that long ago I would
have struggled to walk 13 miles, let alone run it, but at some point in every
run my mind starts racing ahead to how fast or far I can run that day. “God I’m feeling good, I reckon I’m on for a
personal best!” Never mind that there’s never been a single run where I
haven’t been in near/actual agony by the end of it, my brain has a remarkable
way of forgetting that and assuming this will be the one when that doesn’t
happen.
I downloaded a good app called Pace Calculator recently
that tells you, based on the time and distance you’ve run, what that should
equate to you being able to run other distances in, taking factors like fatigue
into account. It also provides some useful advice on what types of training you
should do and mentions that “top coaches and exercise physiologists” recommend
that 80-90% of your training is done at a slower, more relaxed pace. It’s
counter-intuitive but apparently it’s been proven to help you improve.
Clearly though they didn’t have Dads in mind when they came
up with that advice. I’ve tried taking it slowly a few times but inevitably
(generally no more than 5 minutes into my run) decide that, based on how I’m
not in agony yet, I should up the pace and go for it.
All of which means I’ve gone from focussing on completing
to being hell-bent on competing. Not with the other 55,000 runners – one look
in the mirror is all the confirmation I need that I’m by no means an athlete - but
with myself. Rather than being thrilled to make it to the finish line I’ll now
be disappointed if I don’t break the 2 hour target I’ve set myself. Never mind
that I haven’t got close to it yet or that conditions on the day might make it
near impossible to run at my best, competitive Dad instinct tells me it can
must be achieved!
You might be a little sceptical reading all this,
doubting that CDS exists but for proof ask yourself how many times you’ve been
out shopping and seen the Peter Kay impression of a ‘Dad run’? That running
motion that gets him from A to B no quicker than his usual walk is borne from
the same gene, where the mind is urging them to go faster but their body has
long since passed it’s ability to perform. I’ve got that to look forward to one
day, no doubt in the same way I’ll try impressing my children and their friends
in later years by beating them at whatever sport or computer game they try to
take me on at.
In applying for both the Great North Run and the York 10k
I’m doing next week-end you’re asked what time you expect to finish it in so
that you can be grouped with (and no doubt compete against) other runners of
similar ability. Maybe they’re missing a trick by not having a section
dedicated to those suffering from CDS. They may not win or appear to be running
any faster than they walk, but it’d stop them embarrassing their kids for the
day.
MM
* The Great North
Run is just 7 weeks away and I’m doing it (and writing this blog) to raise
money for the MS Society. It might be a cliché but it’s certainly true that whatever
you’re able to sponsor me will be hugely appreciated – I’ve got a minimum
amount I’m nowhere near raising and really need all the support I can get.
Thanks for helping me do that.
0 comments:
Post a Comment